The above picture was gotten from Facebook group I am on Surrealism Ink & GIF (Thank you Charlie for the use of the picture)
As I sit and stare out at this beautiful view I wonder just where I might be if I had taken a different direction or stayed on course for what I thought might have been my chosen destiny. Would I be better off, or would I have the same type problems but on a different scale? I think sometimes it best not to think too closely about what might have been and still with what could be or what is. Even as I watch the skyline starts to change from day to night I continue to sit here watching the river flow and the light change while in the distance the city lights are starting to flick on giving an eerie glow all around, yet I remain as if I am glued to my seat. I wonder if I might be waiting for some type of sign to tell me it is time for me to move on, back to the land of the living and quit these thoughts that have been there later in the back of my mind. Sometimes there is no doubt about it life has a way of kicking your bottom end, then while your trying to recover from that it continues to kick you in your teeth but if you are smart and I like to think that I am you get up dust yourself off and just go on as though everything will be alright and it more then likely is.
From where I am sitting life has been a series of hits and misses but the hits far out way the misses sure I have had a few disappointments who haven’t. More than my share of hurts along the way but I can say that even though life has given me a few knocks along the way and some of them have knocked me down and it has taken a while to get back up I have given as good as I have received. I had a good career and made the most of it for the most part. When I decided to take my life in a different direction that too was good. My children are all well-adjusted and happy. They have lives they live to the fullest, they also have children they enjoy while making a living to make that life work for them. So that too works in my thinking that I have done for the most part all things right.
Somewhere in the back of mind, something isn’t quite right or why would I be pondering life choices and wondering if I have made all the right choices. I know that I can’t worry about things that are gone or haven’t come to be, but I might have time to change or review things before tomorrow comes not necessary to change but to make sure that everything is correct than wrong. Most of my life I lived by the code if you change one thing in your life you could change everything and lose the best part of yourself, so I have never even wished to change it. Why mess with fate. Every now and then I just wonder what if?
So, for the sake of argument let’s say we ponder changing something to see what might happen nothing I mean nothing is going to change because I would be risking everything on a turn of a card now I am a gambler but I’m not that kind of one where I will risk everything. Meanwhile, let us check this out, let just say instead of the accident that ended my tennis career before it started I had gone on to become a tennis player how much better would my life have been? Well, I would have been better off money wise, but I would have never met the man I married or had my wonderful children or my grandchildren and I would not be here writing this blog to all of you wonderful and amazing people who read me. So, see just by changing one little item changes the outcome of so many things. So all in all I am pleased I sat here on this bench watching the city at night come alive by lighting up cause it has taught me two things and that is the first is no matter how life is it is not really that bad it just seems like it is for a short while, Second, that no matter how sad or upset you are God is there to help you through it and sitting outside pondering your thoughts is a whole lot more fun when you have a beautiful view and a great skyline of an interesting city waking up at night.