I think this is going to be a hard blog to write because I just realized that I have just passed the anniversary of my Dad’s death which was on the 6th of February and that his birthday is on the 12th of February he would be 99 years old.  WOW!!! Talking about burying the lead that did it for me.  I have been without him for a long time, but I have learned to live with it no matter how hard it got because I always had others to pick up the slack and never felt that I was missing his love because of the others who help make up for not having a father.  I knew that he loved me, and others did the Father-daughter things or my first dance thing or whatever was needed.  Don’t get me wrong I missed my Dad I still do miss my Dad as old as I am now, but I never wanted for a Dad because I always had some cousin, uncle, grandpa, or other male relatives to fill the slot if I need something done.  I am forever appreciative of all male relatives who filled in throughout the years without never complaining when I am so sure you could have found something better to do than go to a function with me.  Thanks so much.

I know that I tell you all the time about you who have your Mom or Dad still alive and in good health that you are so lucky and that I wish I could have just one more hug from my Dad or Mom at this stage in my life I would be so happy, and I would be.  But I have a friend and she knows who she is I am beginning to think that even though she still has her Mom she isn’t so lucky because she doesn’t know her, doesn’t remember her life and I have thought long and hard on that situation and I am positive if my Mom or Dad were still alive and living in that situation they wouldn’t be happy nor would they want to be alive.  I think I am just being selfish because I would like them in any kind of a way because anyway is better than no way.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them think of them, but I know neither of them is in pain, so I suppose they might be in a better place than some of us, but still it doesn’t stop the missing or wishing for just one more I love you or one more hug to make it last until we meet again.

There are few people who complain about their parents did this or did that and how they don’t like it.  Well, get a job move out stop complaining be thankful that you have your parents around to piss you off and do things you don’t like to be thankful they care enough to piss you off.  So, I would like mine around just again to piss me off enough that we can have our fights and I can get grounded in263114-Happy-Birthday-Dad (1) my room I would love it.   So, stop complaining about them be thankful that you still have them because I can guarantee that someday they will not be there.  God will call them home and they won’t be here on earth.  I know this might be a wake up call it isn’t meant to be I have heard so much lately about someone’s parents didn’t let them drink any booze well gee how old are you anyway 16 years old, wait in 5 years you can drink but if you live at home you such obey your parents rules they have your best interest at heart most of the time.  They do love you.

Mom and Dad where ever you are I hope after all this time you are together and happy.  I Love You both and Miss you more than I can ever say.  Thank you for what you tried to do for me even if I did make a mess of it.  I am thankful for both of your love and I am thankful to have been raised in a house where I knew what love was.  It was harder Mom for you after Daddy died and I am sure us kids didn’t make it any easier, but I am still glad that we had you both at least for a short time.  God bless you.

Happy Birthday Dad 99 years young that is a milestone here on earth we would have celebrated!!! Now you can celebrate with Mom and all who came after!!!!!!  LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Hi Mom,

It’s Labor Day weekend Tuesday you have been gone from our lives 17 years but you are not forgotten.  You are still well-loved as well.  I don’t believe there is day that goes by that I still don’t wish that you are still here with us and still telling us what we have missed or what we all need to be doing to make things better somehow.  You will probably laugh when I tell you this but I honestly think that Mark is never going to retire from the paper because they still need him even now.  Or maybe it’s that he needs them more then they need him who knows the reason.

I wonder each time I write something to you what I can say or do that might be a little different than the time before.  I don’t find any trouble writing things to you but I find myself wondering what type of answers I might receive from you.  It is so interesting when I stop to think about you I sometimes come away with a kind of abstract kind of picture of my life with you and now without you I suppose much like I do when I picture myself with and without Carl.  I want you to know Mom that I am happy and that all is good.  Mark and I are fine.  I’m not sure about Chris I haven’t seen him in for number of years not because I don’t want to see him but because he doesn’t come around.   I wonder about him a lot but until he makes himself known I can only continue has I am and continue to wonder.

Mom I just want to have a small chat to let you know I was thinking about you but I am sure you know I always am.  I wish with all my heart that I had more time with you than I did but then you would have suffered more than you already had I couldn’t have stood that so I would rather miss you like I do than watch you suffer more than you did.

Give my love to all who have gone before me.  Find JJ Mom and give him a big hug for me and tell him that I miss him lots and that I am so sorry I missed telling him goodbye but he is still in my thoughts a lot and he was the best friend a girl could have.

Mom remember that you are loved and missed.  I will be seeing you someday and then I will put my arms around you and give you the best hug and tell you that somewhere along the way all those things you told me have come to past and you were right.  Yes, I am saying you were right but don’t hold that against me.  Take care of yourself and thank you for all you did in the end it was the right thing to do.

Love your daughter,


Mother’s Day May 2017

With Mother’s Day coming and Mom’s birthday passing a couple of months back she has been on my mind a lot lately.   I’m not sure it is because she will be gone for 17 years come this September or if she would have been celebrating her 84 birthday this past March or then it again it could be that it is just another Mother’s Day without her.  But either way she is indeed on my mind.  I suppose here lately she has been there a lot.

But anyone who has a Mom whether she still be here with us or has gone to live in heaven this time of year our Mom’s are in our thoughts because of May and us celebrating Mother’s Day all over the world.  It was started in the early 20th century when Anna Jarvis wanted to honor all Mothers and motherhood.  While not all countries celebrate Mother’s Day it is hosted in about forty countries around the world.

In retrospect you really only have one Mother and it is nice to let her know how special she is to you and to thank her for all the things she has taught, her unconditional love and most of life she as given you.  She is the light at the end of your tunnel when you just want that much needed hug or a kiss on the forehead when you’re not feeling your best.  Sometimes we get lucky and we have a Mom would is always there through thick and thin.

Motherhood is an honorable job and for those of have it is a wonderful and sometimes trying occupation but it is also a very loving one.  At times it can be routine but never boring,  it can even be thankless at times when you are at your wits end but there is always love and you often wonder if your children are on the same page as you but you know beyond a doubt in your mind that you would NEVER change a thing because changing one thing would change it all.

So Mom I want to thank you for all you did my brothers and sisters I know that you loved us.  I also want to say that there a day doesn’t pass by that I don’t want to pick up the phone to call you to tell you something or ask you a question about something but most importantly just to say I love you, I miss you but most of all thank you for all the years you were there to raise me and care for me.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMS OUT THERE IN CYBERSPACE  May you all have a wonderful day and I hope that your children remembers to tell you!!!!




Hello Millisa,

This is sort of a letter of goodbye to you since I didn’t get to say goodbye the standard way.  First let me tell you will be missed by so many people and that we all love you and are trying to understand WHY it had to be this way.  God has got you through so many tough spots before and you have always taken the hard road before.  Maybe this is the hard road for you and you are doing what is best for all concerned.  If that is so then we are here to live on without you because that is the way it has to be.  It will be hard not to be able to pick up the phone and call you or go on Facebook and message you so that when you get home in the morning to IM me back.

You were the best friend a girl could ever have and I was so thankful to have known you.  Even though I was older I wasn’t always wiser you taught me how to laugh at myself and know that life sometime just isn’t always what it is cracked up to be but it can still be fun. When we played pool we played pool on the same league and we played pool against each other it was so much more fun to play on the same team then play opposite each other.  I think it was because we have to work harder when we played on different teams.

I remember the day you called me to tell me that Bobby died it was hard on both of us but we got through and here it one year later I am writing this note to tell you goodbye I’m not sure I can get through this without you my friend but I’m going to try.  You have your religion to get you through most of your sorrows but the one that was the hardest was your Mom and we talked about this I know you missed her every day.  Well now my friend you can get a hug and tell her that you never stopped loving her and find the peace you couldn’t find here.

Millisa I’m sitting here writing this trying to understanding all of it and it’s hard but you have been in my past, you have been in my present but you won’t be in my future except in my thoughts, prayers and memories but what memories they will be we had some great times.  I will miss you and I will love you forever.  You always seem to know when I needed you when we talked you told me so much why didn’t you tell me what was going on in your mind so we could have talked about?  We have always talked about so many other thinks out before why not then.  Where you afraid that I might have told you something that would have changed the out come of what happened?  Well Hon we can’t second guess it now can we.  I love you and I hope that you are at peace finally.  RIP my friend you are going to be missed by all who love you here on earth.

Love Kat  ❤